To the Men in My Life

As I reflect on the question I receive on a regular basis - why I still don't have a boyfriend - one of the things that comes to mind is that I think I am lucky in the department of having good men in my life. And when most your life you have been surrounded with the cream of the crop, it just follows that you construct for yourself standards based on them.

It’s my ex-lovers, my friends, my brothers, my colleagues, my heroes who I am blaming as to why I still don't have a boyfriend, I mean, it can't all just be me.

Let's expound on this a little more. I can say that most of my guy friends are the nicest and most interesting guys I know.
I'm used to having good laughs with them, that's why I can never connect, more so get attracted to someone who does not have the same kind of humor as I do and I hate doing fake laughs just to be 'nice.'

I'm used to talking with my boy friends about stuff, interesting stuff and vain/useless stuff. I like conversations and new ideas. That is why, I can never like someone who doesn't improve on the "how are you?" "did you eat na?" kinds of conversation, even if they are the cutest.

On a daily basis, the bosses who I work with open the door for me. That's why I mentally deduct pogi points when I see "ungentlemanly" acts. And on a daily basis, I deal with smart and inspiring men, whose patience, integrity, consistency, confidence and wits I admire. That's why I look for the same traits when I evaluate a guy.

I have friends who tell me how they admire and love and respect their girlfriends, "she's the most beautiful girl in the world, for me" that's why I believe that the opposite sex is capable of loving, despite the horror stories I've heard about men.

And I have friends who don't tolerate guys who doesn't treat me the way they would treat a lady, they call out my "recklessness."

I have heroes and fantasy husbands who have inspired and changed people's lives. Men whose lives are testaments to living with purpose and living it happily and that's why I look for nuggets of such traits in the guy I want to share my life with or at least a part of my life (I welcome the idea of endings).

I have had ex-lovers who took good care of me, and I refuse accept anything less.

I can go on and on, but I guess the ultimate person who is to blame why I have such high standards is my Dadi. As long as I can remember he has always been there for me. He taught me how to drive when I was 5 (okay, he just let me steer the wheel and made me believe I was driving). He took me with him when he sold cooking oil. He taught me the value of hard work when he made me clean bottles and pay me 50 cents each. His calmness under pressure I learned when I got a big cut in my palm and he calmly cleaned my cut and told me to stop crying.

His wisdom I admired when he told me not to waste my energy and my tears on things I cannot undo, and that time when I heard him say something about just following your dreams and making the first step to get them. His patience, I wish I have, especially at times when my mom becomes drama queen. His humor, I adore, especially those times when he doesn't have the answer to my problem and resorts to looking like a fool to get me smiling.

His love, humility, kindness, integrity and everything good about him and all the other men in my life are to blame why I have formed this prince in my head. I think it is a disservice to them if I settle. I've seen some men like the men I've mentioned, I still know I live in a real world. Let's just pray they see me too or that I gather the guts to tell them they fit the bill.