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Let Me Have That Brave One Second Moment When I Hit The Publish Button


As I was reading “Wild” a vivid memory of a friend flashed back to me. He was a friend I met on the road and travelled with. Then, just like any other thought it flowed to another insight… as much as I’ve been wishing to have a boyfriend, I definitely love my singlehood and the experiences and freedom that come with it.

Before I got into my very first relationship, it took me a lot of years of meeting, dating, and getting to know quite a few number of guys. Disgracefully, I met most of them at a club, where I was my alter ego – find a cutie, judge him by the way he dresses, by the people he is with, by the his presence, talk to him, and if he seems to fit my subconscious criteria, flirt, I’d like to think I did it with class, but some nights, remembering them now didn’t seem too classy to my 27-year old self. YUCK. But the point was, I was fearless in the club, I learned to deduct the possibility of rejection.

Fast forward to a few days after, when a guy would text me or ask me out. When we’re back to our normal lives. I would become calculating, conscious, and insecure alter. I’d mask it with the same confidence I had in the dark. I thought too much, does he really like me or he just want to get into my pants? I was preoccupied with not letting him fool me. My default reality was that, since I met him in the club he can never be into me, me. He’s just trying to sleep with me and I will not let him win the “game.”

I thought it to be a big game, where the smarter one wins. I must’ve wasted a lot of potentials from that exhausting exercise, lots of great perhaps.

If you are my friend, I’ve finally come up with an explanation of the things I used to do that made you crazy! Here it is! But also, you’ve probably heard me wish for this one guy whose story is a good one to narrate during a wedding?? Well since I said it, there are actually a lot of guys I went out with whose stories are worth narrating during a wedding. Wow, I’m actually good at that. And yes, when I have a crush, I find my thoughts wandering in a wedding reception – on a cliff, overlooking the vast sea, while a special friend stands before everyone holding a mic in one hand and a champagne glass on the other and narrates the story.

Now, I’m going ADD in this post. But what the hell. This is the first time I’m going public on the matter of the heart. And I’m overdosing with Pei Pa Koa.

Now the thought that flashed in my head while I was reading the part of the book where the protagonist saw two black bears was… I’ve met a lot of guys and I have a lot of good and kilig moments with them. That I probably will not be able to experience if I’m with someone. And for that I am lucky. Im smitten remembering them.

They are like scenes from books and movies. Time sometimes really slow down or go fast.

1.       Right now, this is the most movie scene worthy entry (that I am willing to disclose at this moment *hint, there are others that are relevant right now, I just cant*): while on a slow running open car, in the middle of giant ancient trees, running towards a vast grassland, the wind blew so hard and so gentle at the same time that dried orange leaves, probably the size of guava trees, fell artistically on us. It was like a dance well-choreographed. It was, as the wind gentle, those falling in front of us and powerful those on the sides. The leaves were actually dancing, like a boat floating in the water, swayed to the right then curves to the left. I swear, I wished there was a big speaker that played something for that moment, because it was just beautiful. Add to that the fact that I was seated front row with this nice and proper gentleman who is beautiful.

 

2.       Sipping coffee with a grand view while talking about anything, occasionally complemented with good all-out laughter. It felt so good that he made up a silly excuse to get his arms accidentally around you.

 

3.       Sneaking from an overnight to party with the guy and his friends. While it annoys me how guys can act territorial, I find some nuggets of cuteness from it. He tastefully grabbed me by the waist when he saw some guys checking on me, then casually said hi to them.

 

4.       When somebody saved me from my stupidity.

 

5.       When I talked for hours with this guy’s dad and eventually met him and totally crushed on him because he was travelling with his dad and his dad was such a nice, intelligent and insightful man and I thought him to be like that also. Their dynamics was beautiful, he was making faces and calling out his dad in a playful manner, made me laugh.

 

6.       This one time when guys were trying to get us to spend more time with them and they were obviously making up stories. This was also the time I drove motorbike for us, it was lovely because I love riding motorbikes.

 

7.       It was that time in my life when everything came in waves, both love and work aspects of my life bailed on me. It was terrible; I was in that stage when those were the only things important to one’s life. I couldn’t take it anymore, one weekday, I decided that I need a good drink, a good cry and a rest from everything and so I did. I went home, drank with my cousins until 7am, cried in the process and left for the beach. This was mid week.

 

When I got to the spot, logically I thought there will be no one because it was a Wednesday and this spot was not really popular to hard core surfers and the forecast says flat. But then I asked the local if somebody was there, and he said the name of this guy who I met in the same spot a couple weeks back, who I honestly thought I’d never see again, and who I formed a biggest fluffy ball of crush with. I WAS ECSTATIC!!

 

The whole place was to ourselves for 3 days. We had our separate tent, we’d wake up in the morning, eat breakfast which some days he’d cook for me (as well as lunch and dinner), surf or paddle, sit in the kubo opposite each other, talk, sleep in our separate shelters, have lunch, surf or paddle, sit in the kubo opposite each other, talk, have dinner, talk, have beer, sleep in our separate shelters. Repeat 3 times, with variations on the cuteness – like eating ice cream or feeding cows, or hearing “this is beautiful, even without the waves.”

 

On the last night, though we’ve talked so much that we’ve formed a special and haunting attraction that could only be muzzled by kisses. So on that night, he started planting scary thoughts in my head, I took it to be his way to get me to share his tent with him. Of course I didn’t say I got scared. After a bottle or two, we went to our tents like how we normally did. This time though my brain kept me tossing and turning. Daring me to make the move, YOLO, it demanded. And so I did, and that’s not the best part yet. The best was as I stepped out of my tent which was probably 10 meters from his tent, I saw him, he probably stepped out of his tent at the same time as I did because we met in the middle! I was jumping hysterics in my head while I kept my human body still and calm, hugging the pillow and blanket I brought with me. I bet it took all his might not to show how cool he felt at that moment. A girl walked to his tent with her pillow and blanket, she must want to sleep in his tent. We tried to keep it cool, and I casually said Im scared, I handled it like a beauty queen handles a difficult question. And he handled it pretty well, he said he was walking towards the kubo which was far from his tent, to shut the lights, which he didn’t do in the past 2 nights. We didn’t sleep in his tent but he accompanied me in mine and made me feel safe, and of course we made out and watched the stars and the boat lights on the horizon, which urban legend says, “for my entertainment.” He held my hand and I will forever vividly remember it.

 

Wow, that was quite a few. And still there are some things popping out of my head. See, I would never have experienced these if I were in a relationship. I’m not saying I don’t want to be in a relationship, because I think if I were asked now which one I’d choose, I’d probably say I’d prefer to be in a relationship with someone who’s a good match. I think I’ve pretty much sampled what it’s like to be dating and meeting people. Now I want that someone who’d be my plus one to weddings and dinners and beach trips and parties. And that one whose arms I’d hug and that one who’d see and trek the Machu Picchu with me. Hopefully now, that one will actually be just one person and not several beautiful souls as narrated above.

Fuck, now I don’t know if I can artist this and actually post online. This is very personal and I don’t like telling people what my thoughts are. But I will brave this!
PS, not all stories are of guys I went out with. Some I just secretly formed a crush/attraction with.

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