How I Handle Life

I met with an old friend the last Sunday (Sunday afternoon drinks are fun), as we were talking about life and the struggles that comes with growing old and gaining responsibilities a question of him struck me. This was actually not the first time that the question overwhelmed me. I remembered in my company’s first team building, my general manager asked me sort of the same question as we were having a one on one discussion.

The question, at least the latest one was formed in such a satisfying manner, I hope my memory is not betraying me, “how do you handle life?” I thought he must be asking me for advice and I thought that I must be hitting a few notes correctly. I struggled to answer the question, like the first time it was asked to me. And like the first time, I answered it, "I read…" But as the moments pass and I reflect on the question, with the kind of itch you have when you and your friends are talking about a movie character whom you know, you know,( and you know she knows and she knows she knows and she knows you know) but at that moment when it crossed your minds you both couldn’t remember? That question left me to think until I found a good enough answer and I guess this entry will be my official answer to that question.

I will try to organize.

1.      I read. But I guess more than that, I feed myself with things that I think will enrich my life.

I read blogs, articles, books that encourage me to live my full potential. Some of my favorites are:

·         Brainpickings.org - one of my favorite articles is "9 Learnings from 9 Years of Brain Pickings"

 

·         Walden by Henry David Thoreau (book)

 

·         Flow Genome Project 

 

I watch and listen to things that inspire me to be better. Some of my favorites:

o    Shots of Awe

o    Soul Pancake

o    The School of Life

o    TED 

• The power of vulnerability - Brene Brown
• Your Elusive Creative Genius - Elizabeth Gilbert
• Hacking the GENOME of Flow - Jamie Wheal

 

For Podcast, my go-to is Ted Radio Hour (you can listen through your Podcast or through Stitcher) below are my favorite episodes:

Simply Happy

To The Edge

The Source of Creativity

Unstoppable Learning

Amateur Hour

From Curiosity to Discovery

How We Love

They are really interesting, helpful, insightful and entertaining (I get bored easily, they need to be entertaining)

 

2.      I surround myself with people I admire and who inspire me.

One of my greatest realizations is that I believe that I have been able to choose the best people who I would be spending my days with, after all, “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” 

Most of my time is spent at work and I’m lucky enough to be working with people most of whom I enjoy working with and whose presence and actions are actual examples of things I would want to do.  

For instance, my boss is the most patient person I know, he is always calm and never talks or even infers ill of anyone. I respect him for doing that, it inspires me. I wish I become more patient and calm like him. 

And if there are instances when people show a side of them that inflames me, I just try to take it as a test of my character and that’s a good example of how I shouldn’t act. 

I have good sets of friends, most of them have really high expectations and at times when one of us falls short of it, we are not afraid to call each other out or in our case, we mock each other. It works for me.  

It’s not only the character that that my friends help me with. I have friends who help me with my surfing, all aspect of it. They coach me, help me fix my board, teach me how to properly take care of my gears, bring me to some of the best spots I’ve surfed in, drive for me, you get the point. I also have friends who would help me or push me do the boring stuff – paying the bills, groceries, apartment hunting, taking of my skin/hair, brand/reataurant reviews, etc.  My friends also help me getting fit, or doing Excel/Powerpoint, they also remind me where to put my money.  

But I think the biggest role of my friends in my life is they “steal my thunder” - they half the bad stuff and they multiply the good ones. I don’t think I can handle my life by myself. I like sharing my stories to my friends and if you are one of those friends who would catch me on a happy moment, probably I would linger on to that happy moment for quite a while and force you to linger on it with me, I think it gets annoying to some, they just ignore me. 

Another support system who I am so sure will never let me down if my family – saving me from myself since 1988. I can depend on them anytime. I am so proud of my parents who have actually graduated from worrying too much about my surfing and travelling (alone, especially) to being supportive and trusting about my adventures. I think one of the best thing I love about my parents is the trust they gave me, it makes my life a lot more easier because I can tell them whatever I am up to. I don’t carry the burden of lying or hiding stuff too well, it weighs me down. I’m glad I can tell my parents that I travelled with a guy friend and we slept in one room. My mom was just curious who that guy friend was, she was actually fishing.  

My sibling loves me dearly even if we’re not very vocal about it. I love getting in our family van and taking road trips, I actually miss it.

 

3.      I am aware of myself and I am deliberate.

I think I take a lot of time reflecting, not just about myself but on the things that happen. By so doing, I think I am able to identify the things that will make my life better. This however should not be confused with over analysing which kills the fun in things. I think my rule for that is as long as you’re sticking to the facts and the observables, that’s fine. Once you start assuming, then that’s the time you should stop. 

I try to be deliberate at the things I want to happen. One example I have is when I’m crushing on someone. I deliberately take steps to get to know him or make him smile – that’s how you make an impression, right? Every time there’s a chance to see him, I’d say yes to the occasion or sometimes I make the occasion.

Another example is I want to travel the world, we all know that we need money to travel the world. So I started “saving up” for this travel. Another thing I’m doing is that every time I travel, most of the time I get contact details of the people I make friends with, most of which are from different parts of so that it will be easier for me to navigate their places when I get there. I also listen to pod cast, and other stuff to expand my knowledge about travelling.  

Another example is I want to get better at surfing, I deliberately spend time, effort and money at making it happen. I still need to be deliberate at learning how to read forecast though. 

 

I think those are the top 3 things that summarize how I am able to handle life. I choose the things that I consume, they better be good for me. I surround myself with people that are good for me and that inspire me. And lastly, I am aware of myself and I am deliberate at leading a happy life, I try.