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Update on Singlehood

A few minutes ago a friend of mine tagged me in a Thought Catalog post about a perpetually single girl... this is not an unusual discourse between me and my friends - different circles of them.

Their wishes and dreams for me to have a boyfriend has been a staple in birthday and Christmas greetings. I am not complaining, I am one with them. But I guess I have become more at peace and stopped wondering why I still don't have a boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, it would be cool to have one.

I feel that I just have to correct some of the generalizations we have about perpetually single girls, because even as we are one in this perpetual singlehood, we have our different takes on it... this is mine.

The thing that thought that made me tick in the article is, "She just hasn’t found someone to make her heart skip a beat. She hasn’t found someone that fills her stomach with butterflies at the sight of them. She hasn’t found someone she misses before they’re even gone. She hasn’t found someone to make her want to give up being single because her happiness was born in her decision to be single."

Because I feel that I have and I have found a lot of someones who made my heart skip beats, someones who filled my stomach with butterflies at their sight, someones I missed before even they left and someones who made me want to give up my singlehood.

And I guess I've been convicted by most as one who is not capable of feeling these things. A friend who I dated actually asked me, "do you ever like somebody?" And I almost slapped him with a crisp answer: "I actually liked you!?" But held my composure and kept it to myself.

In the past few months I've gone out with people whom I would want to spend some time with. But the circumstance and/or something else is a strong force that makes it a terrible tragedy to push through with a committed relationship.

So we're back to square one, if "finding someone who would make me want to give up being single" isn't a problem, then why am I still single? I don't know the answer, but for the past potentials who made my heart skip beats, they were in transit. If they weren't I'd probably ask them to stay by my side and keep me warm.



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