To see and experience as much and to capture them in words

 I recently went on this gratefulness trip that made me remember the many amazing things I've experienced in my life. It's funny how sometimes we forget about the good stuff when life gets tough and we're overwhelmed with fear and insecurities. That's exactly how it was for me when I was dealing with the pressure of finding a job in NY and trying to excel at work. (Read about it here  Finding Ground ) As I reflect, it's astonishing how I responded to uncertainty with so much fear and resistance. I used to handle ambiguity with curiosity and joy, but somehow I had lost that along the way (happy to share that I’m relearning that power).  But yeah, some of the most vivid experiences I have include chasing a bus that left me in the border of Cambodia and Vietnam.  I took a bathroom break and when I came out, the bus had bailed on me! But the folks at the restaurant were so nice and in a heartbeat, without even thinking, they hooked me up with a motorcycle and we went on...

2021 - I felt like I found my voice... back. And it feels liberating and light. I became comfortable in meetings, more talkative during get togethers, I talk to friends / family back home regularly and I sponteneously express my sense of humor. This state  of being is not new to me, before I moved to NYC, this was my default state. For friends who know me well, it's not easy to imagine a quite, unconfident, hesitant me. For the longest time, confidence has been one of my strongest traits.  Most of my professional life, although slow-paced, I spontaneously speak my mind and share my story. Having lived life unapologethically made living void of easeness to express myself, both paradoxically unbearable and promising.  Slight tangent here which also serves as context, I've known myself to jump into something without the full grasp of it - moving abroad is one, shifting to a completely different and highly technical career is another... I did them at t...

NYC was my least preferred city among the four metros I was hoping to move to. I desired to be in Southern California mainly for the surf. I imagined my ideal day to day – get a house in a beach neighborhood, surf in the morning before work. Also, by that point, I had already enjoyed my SoCal life having stayed there for a few months. Spoiler alert, the best school for data analytics didn’t accept me, instead I moved to NYC. It’s almost two years. And although I don’t live by the beach I am living my dreams – morning surf before data analytics. I’m discovering that NY has beautiful waves, less than an hour away from the city. It took me a year before I got my stoke surfing NYC. Sometime in October 2018 I guess my first year of surfing here was one of denial. I didn’t think I would have as much fun as I had surfing the Philippines and I have my reasons and I abode by them. The water is cold, the water is dirty, there are a lot of New Yorkers in the lineup (I had my f...

I saw Meute last night in Brooklyn, they were amazing. At the end of their performance, I saw things that were raw and beautiful, which brought the concert experience to a whole different level. Those last minutes that lead to an authentic encore was magical. They’re happiness after the performance and after seeing how the audience loved their performance was moving. I will never forget how one of them gave off this almost sigh of relief (for lack of a better term) after he blew his last note. It was as almost he was going to cry because it was over and because they did great and NY loved them. At least that’s how my face would look like if I rocked NY. While I was so touched and tried to stay in that moment, I noticed it wasn’t just my pure imagination that was extending the experience. It was also because people wouldn’t stop applauding. At this point we were not shouting for encore because they already played an amazing encore – they played and danced in the danc...

I went surfing yesterday, drove almost 3 hours to meet my friends and hop on a car for another 3 or so more hours of road trip. My logical self wouldn't let me do this, but surf is vital to my existence that it was a no-brainer. Faces of stoke Post surf aka stoke convos We went to a spot that I've only surfed once before. My friends said the paddle was about 10 minutes but it felt like 30 minutes to me.  The first time I surfed it, we had to paddle against strong current and white waters for an hour, only to catch one wave and almost drown because my leash snapped. But yesterday was perfect for a comeback surf for me and Abe. Beautiful day to be out Abe spoils us with freshly brewed coffee Everything aligned, the waves were in their fun size, the wind was being a bit playful with offshore, side shore breeze, the sun was shining, the blue sky was decorated with cumulus clouds, which created that thousand diamonds imagery, the water was clear enough that it ...

My uncle was killed, we only have speculations for the motives… business, politics. Nothing really worth of anyone's life.   I am writing to celebrate his life, because it's the best we can do while we grieve. I am also writing for Ace (my 2 y/o cousin), Justine, Macmac, Nanay and Tatay, my mom, my aunts and uncle and everybody who is grieving. While everybody was sharing their ordinary yet precious moment with Tito Bicol, I am transported back to 2004. I was mocking him for being in the political sphere, I’ve always thought it to be grubby. During that time he was running back in fort, coordinating for relief operations and resuscitating our town that was dysfunctional for about one month because of a flash flood and landslide. His family along with other family members stayed in our house for over a month because majority of my town was submerged in mud. I had a glimpse of his day to day life.  One day I asked him why he even bother doing what he did, ...

It's been almost 6 months since I moved to NY. It is only now that I am feeling the effects of not being in the water or near the water, technically the last time I surfed was in November and I went to the beach in December.  Long Beach NYC, Nov 2019 I noticed I get grumpy easily and have more sad moments. I've been hacking my way out of it by being more active. I'm doing yoga and capoeira, they're helping me stay fit and I think they are helping me relieve stress.  I'm on my 4th week of yoga and I'm learning the headstand, I noticed my favorite part of the practice is when my world is altered, like being upside-down. I feel the same about capoeira, my favorite part is when we do cartwheels with a partner. I'm pretty sure I'm far from doing an elegant cartwheel, tho.  Both my teachers, Jorge S. (yoga) and Professora Missil (capoeira), are really good and friendly. I went to yoga on valentine's day and Jorge gave dark truffle chocol...